Mulder: Woman! Git back here and make me a sandwich!

Mulder: *climbing a tree* Scully, does this demonstration of boyish ability turn you on?

Scully: Mulder, you couldn't go two minutes without a cell phone without lapsing into catatonic scychsophernia.

Scully: Begin autopsy on white male, age sixty, who is arguably having a worse time in Texas than I am - although not by much...

Mulder: Who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks? SHAFT! Can you dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother - shut yo mouth!

Mulder: You're afraid to tell the truth! Afraid you'll look like an idiot? Like me?

Mulder: You don't beleive in vampires. And I respect that.

Scully: I haven't eaten since six o clock the morningand all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel. And it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was lite cream cheese.

Mulder: Thats exactly... essentially how it happened. Except for the part about the buck teeth.

Mulder: *sees scully while playing basketball* Hey homegirl! Word up!
Scully: Mulder, you just cheated.
Mulder: Scully! I got game!
Scully: Yeah, you got so much game that I'm starting to wonder if you have any work left in you.
Mulder: I'm ready to j-o-b. Just not on some backround checking jag off shoe shine tip.

Mulder: Here's a tip. Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and keeps the government's ming control rays out.

Mulder: Hey, Scully, maybe if we get really lucky next time they'll let us clean toilet bowls.

Mulder: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

Scully: The last time you were that engrossed it turned out you were reading the adult video news.

Scully: And if your sister is your aunt and your mother marries your uncle, you'd be your own grandpa.

Mulder: Thats why they put the "eye" in FBI.

Mulder: Nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted!

Mulder: So, who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?

Mulder: You saved the word, Scully!
Scully: Yeah, you're right. I did.

Mulder: I love you...
Scully: Oh brother...

Scully: I'd kiss you right now if you weren't so damn ugly.

Mulder: Scully, would you think less of me as a man if I told you I was kind of excited right now?

Mulder: If there's an iced tea in that bag, it must be love.
Scully: Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer.

Mulder: I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot.

Detective White: Are you drunk?
Mulder: Yes! Which...is f-funny because normally I-I-I d-don't d-drink...

Mulder: Should we be picking out china patterns or what?

Frohike: What kind of drugs is he on?
Langly: I want some!

Mulder: You didn't rent a convertible, did you?
Scully: Yeah, why?
Mulder: Are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?

Mulder: ICH BIN EIN AUSLANDER 'I am an outsider'...Did you know that when Kennedy told the Germans "ICH BIN EIN BERLINER , he was actually saying 'I am a cocktail sausage'?

Scully: Is there anything in occult literature about an object that can talk and move? Like, a doll for instance?
Mulder: Like Chuckie?
Scully: Kinda like that, yeah.
Mulder: Yeah...*insert a mulder speech here*...You didn't find a talking doll did you?
Scully: No, of course not...
Mulder: Because if you did, i would suggest checking the back for some sort of plastic ring with a strong on it...

Mulder: Do you believe in the afterlife?
Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one...

Mulder: The best way to save heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone else who's already naked.
Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.