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The X-Files Forever

Funny X-Files Quotes

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"Mulder, toads just fell from the sky." -Scully
"I guess their parachutes didn't open." -Mulder
-"Die Hand Die Verletz"

"We found this Canadian contortionist named Pepper. We said 'here's the opening, see what you can do.' All we added were some sound effects of bones snapping and cracking."
-Robert Goodwin, about "Squeeze."

"I've seen the future, and the future looks just like... (points at Mulder) him. Imagine, going through your whole life looking like that." -Dr. Blockhead
-"Humbug"

"Sure. Fine. Whatever." -Scully
-"Syzygy"

"No, I think this is a case of too much faith... and too much sugar." -Mulder
"Revelations"

"How do I get this off me quickly without betraying my cool exterior? *WHAP!*" -Mulder
-"Squeeze"

"Mulder- I think it's *sniff sniff*... bile."-Scully
-"Squeeze"

"Any thoughts on why people might be growing corn in the middle of the desert?" -Scully
"These (the white domes) could be giant jiffy pop poppers." -Mulder
-The X-Files Movie

"Does this look like the work of little green men?" -Tom Colton
"Grey."-Mulder
"Excuse me?" -Tom Colton
"Grey. You said green men. A Reticulan's skin tone is actually grey. They're notorious for their extraction of human livers." -Mulder
"You can't be serious." -Tom Colton
"Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticula? Excuse me." -Mulder

"I wouldn't have changed a day. Well, maybe the Flukeman thing. I could have lived without that." -Scully
-"In The Field Where I Died"

"No one would kill you, Frohike. You're just a little puppy dog." -Mulder
-"Musings of A Cigarette Smoking Man"

"How are you feeling?" -Scully
"Like someone's been in my stomach redecorating." -Skinner
-

"Hey Scully, do you think it's too soon for me to get my own 1-900 number?" -Mulder
-"Post-Modern Prometeus"

"She's in a mental institute." -Scully
"I'd go with you but I'm afraid they'd lock me up too." -Mulder
-"Max"

"More people have tried to get their hands on this than Tickle-Me -Elmo." -Mulder
-"Max"

"Well, hey, I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage." -Faulkner
-"Jose Chung's From Outer Space"

"Made you look." -Mulder
-"Pusher"

"Mr. Bruckman, there are hits and there are misses and then there are misses." -Scully
-"Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose"

"We're exhuming... your potato." -Mulder
-"Humbug"

"I'm buff." -Frohike
-"Fearful Symmetry"

"Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?" -Mulder
-"Die Hand Die Verletzt"

"Not if drawstrings come back in style." -Mulder
-"3"

"Okay, Mulder, but I'm warning you. If this is monkey pee, you're on your own." -Scully
-The Erlenmeyer Flask

"Enigmatic Doctor Scully!" -Mulder
-"Fallen Angel"

"That's J.J- with two J's!" -J.J
-"Post-Modern Prometheus"

 

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